Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Confessions {8/12}

-I got placed on an email list for a vet that I took Phil to ONCE.  I've unsubscribed several times and I keep getting magically added back to their distro.  Finally, I called them and told me to completely remove me from their system.  #yourspammakesmecrazy #stahp #Ididntsignupforthesetobeginwith

-Sometimes, I consider violencing my dogs.  Especially after I discover things they've done.. Like magically get into the locking trash can and get shit everywhere orrrr eat the tips off my earbuds, but I don't notice till I'm literally putting them in my ears as I'm on my way out the door for a run.  Cuteness and how much I paid for them is often their saving grace.  #mydogsaregoats  #earbudsagaof2015

-The price to replace the tips of my earbuds that Meri so kindly devoured (and no I'm not digging through poop to find them) is about half of what I paid for the earbuds.  Sounds like an excuse to get new earbuds.  #firstworldproblems #earbudsagaof2015

 -I found the spare tips for my earbuds that Meri ate after I ordered new earbuds.  During my run where I was testing the new earbuds (which I don't like), Meri ate the spare tips.  I hadn't added a set of tips to the earbuds before she ate the spares.  #nobutseriouslywtf #ifshedidntcostsomuchIdkillher #probablynot #Istillthinkaboutit #earbudsagaof2015

-I raped my FB friend's list and then the Chief's results came out later in the week and I couldn't see who made it or not since I'd unfriended most of my Navy acquaintances.  #MeganFail

-Only 2 people have messaged me about the Facebook Slaying of 2015.  One to comment on his making it and the other (Teh Pirate Gone Marine) on how he'd gotten cut.  I explained that after his being hidden from my feed for several years, intermittent chats, no likes on my stuff, and then jerking off to old photos of me while we were chatting the last time, I had no choice but to say, "Sorry but you've been chopped."  1 person requested to be my friend again.  I've not responded.

-A coworker introduced me to the band Nada Surf.  #cantstopwontstop

-It still irritates me when people try to punctuate hashtags.  #stahhppppp

-A few of my coworkers incessantly bitch about how much they hate their jobs and make jokes about getting fired soon for one reason or another and I hate having to hear about it.  Your doom and gloom about how you're going to "get fired" within the month or you talk about other people's incompetence when you're the one that decided to leave the project and go to something else and every other possible thing is frustrating to me.  I don't really enjoy that kind of negativity in my life to be completely honest.  #getyournegativeawayfromme

-Part of me is sad I wasn't part of the blogger gathering that happened in Charleston this weekend.  I was aware that certain bloggers were coming to town (how could I not with their talking about it for the last 3+ months), but I'm not part of that elite blogging club, so I wasn't aware that there was actually a blogger gathering.  #thanksfortheinvite #notoneofthecoolkids #Isitaloneatmylunchtable

-When my project manager (aka boss) doesn't do his job, when then reflects poorly on me, I get VERY enraged.  Couple that with a collapse of the dynasty (sarcasm but one would think that's what happened due to all the figurative pants on fire in the office) on a Monday morning, game over, bitches.  #Iwillrunthebussoveryouifyoumakemelookbad

-Quad-chat is often a place of extreme inappropriateness.  For instance, I was complaining about the person who ruined my Monday and Tuesday and Coworker (CW) 3 said I should challenge the douche to a dual.
Me: he'd probably think it was a penis duel and I'm not interested.  Dueling dicks.
CW3: Trial by combat.
Me: I'd lose since I lack proper equipment.
CW3: Just wear a strap-on with a average size dick and you will obliterate him.
Me: I didn't consider that possibility.
CW2: "Teh Megan wrote: 'cause i did em and I ain’t got no fucks to give for some douchmagos fuckary'  lololololo douchemagos fuckary"
Me: You're allowed to reuse that.
CW3: I just want to see you with a strap-on swinging that thing and breaking [Douche]'s micropenis.  Can we make this happen please?
Me: Can you helicopter dick with a strap-on?
CW3: If I buy it, will you try it for science?
Me: I'm tempted to stay yes, as long as I can do it over my clothes.
CW3: I will allow this.
Me: Win.  Deal.
CW2: I would pay so much monies.
CW3: Me too.  I'd pay $1000 no joke to see it happen.  $2000 if you're able to physically break/snap his dick.
Me: I'd have to practice my helo dick moves.
CW2: $10,000 for a broken penis.  I would raid my IRA.
Me: That's assuming it works to begin with.  Could be why he's such a douche.
CW3: Can we get an event coordinator to try and make this happen?
Me: I'm sure Coworker 4 would be interested.  We could do it at the dance on the bar place she likes.

-I realized within the last week, that almost all of my ex's went on to get married and have kids with the woman they got with after me.  The only exceptions are Mr. Scrooge, cause too soon, and Teh Bear, who is divorced and already has kids.  I'm pretty sure I know how I feel about it and I wish I didn't feel the way that I do.  Super glad that everyone else is living out the life I had planned for myself.  /rolleyes #SomethingaboutMegan

-Happy Tuesday at 3pm Meeting: Sorry our contract hasn't been pushed through so it's no work Wednesday tomorrow and we'll make the hours up gradually over the remainder of the month.  #wtfwillIdowithmyfreetimeinthemiddleoftheweek #Iwasjkaboutnoworkweek

-I slept in this morning and that's why these are late.  #sorrynotsorry #ThatsWhatYouDoOnNoWorkWednesday

Linking up with:
Life with Lolo
Hodges Podge


  1. I had noticed that a few of my ex's had gotten married and stuff after we had dated. I guess it is just the course of life. Perhaps you will be doing that to Mr Scrooge next!

  2. Ok first off, ewwww to the person jerking off to your old pics. Srsly??! Gross. I broke my spending freeze last month to buy new ear buds since my old ones broke and I can't go through a commute/work day without my music. I have a friend in my phone whose name is literally Sad Face because she's all about the gloom and doom every time I see her. A lot of my exes are married(only one w child), but I'm actually really happy I dodged a bullet and didn't marry my last serious ex. And I was never sure I wanted kids, so that's a plus. I'm sorry you're not where you want to be in life though.

    P.S. I love Nada Surf!!

  3. #mydogsaregoats - totally stealing that but giving you credit. From time to time, I discuss the fact that I call my girls the "destructive duo"...and it's because they act like goats.

    I'm not a cool kid either in the blogging world. I talk about that from time to time too. Not that I'm in Charleston, but if I was...I'll sit with you at your lunch table.

  4. Bahahahahahah... I died over your Charleston comment! No one ever comes to Detroit so I'm ALWAYS sitting alone. ;) lol

  5. My dogs are lucky they're cute too. Gus in particular has it in for me.

    I don't really get being sad about not being included in something by people you're not friends with. I mean, if I'm good friends with someone and I didn't get the invite, I just invite myself because I'd have that type of relationship with them. But if I don't have the type of relationship where they'd think of me, I wouldn't think they would include me in anything. Whether they're cool kids or not, if they're not my type of cool kids, it means nothing to me. I don't want to hang out with people who have nothing in common with me just because they're around.

  6. - Had the same thing happen with a vet. It took like 3 years to get off that frigging list. Insanity.

    -Interesting coworkers...I can't decide if I really want to see this happen or if it's too horrifying to think of.

  7. Haha I'm not a part of the blogger elite either. I have met one blogger ever and she doesn't even really blog anymore.

  8. OMG yes. I don't know how I keep getting emails from places I've unsubscribed to but it's the MOST ANNOYING THING ever.

  9. I hate being on email lists that I didn't want to be on in the first place. ICK. Also I am ready to slay my friends list. I'm just done with the negativity and having a million people from college on there when I haven't seen or talked to them since I was actually IN college. I'm not a blogger cool kid as I have stated before. So you don't sit at your table alone!


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